The pros and cons of hitch-hiking

[Jade:] "Oh God...."

[Wife:] "Wake up you're dreaming."

[Jade:] "What?"

[Wife:] "You're dreaming."

[Jade:] "We were moving away from the border."

[Wife:] "Huh, what border?"

[Jade:] "Have a nice day."

[Wife:] "Huh?"

[Jade:] "Have a nice day."



We were moving away from the border

Looking for somewhere to sleep

The two of us sharing the driving

Two hitchhikers slumped in the back seat

[Woman:] "Hello"

I sneaked a quick look in the mirror

She gave me a smile

I said, is anyone hungry?

Should we stop for a while?

So we pulled off into a layby

Her dress blew up over her head

I said, would you like to come with me?

She said something foreign under her breath

[Woman:] "(foreign words)"

And the sun shone down on her lovely young limbs

I thought to myself she's much too good for you

I lay down beside her with tears in my eyes

She said

So I stood by the roadside

The soles of my running shoes gripping

The tarmac like gunmetal magnets

Fixed on the front of her Fassbinder face

Was the kind of a smile

That only a rather dull child could have drawn

While attempting a graveyard in the moonlight

But she was impressed

You could see that she thought I looked fine

And when she turned sweeter

The reason, between you and me, was

She'd just seen my green Lamborghini

[RW:] "I think it was the Lamborghini."

So we went for a spin in the country

To feel the wind in our hair

To feel the power of my engine

To feel the thrill of desire



And then in the trees I heard a twig snap

Warning lights flashed on my map

I opened my eyes and to my surprise

There were Arabs with knives at the front of the bed

Right at the front of the bed

Oh my God, how did they get in here

I thought we were safe home in England

She said, come on now kid, it was wrong what you did

You've got to admit it was wrong what you did

You've got to admit it was wrong

[Jade:] "Oh god....Jesus..."

Sleep Sleep

I know that I'm only dreaming

[Jade:] "Leave her alone

get out..out..get out of my house!"

Through closed eyes

I see West German skies on the ceiling

And I want to get back

To the girl with the rucksack

To feel her flaxen hair

I want to be there

See the sun going down

Behind Krupps steelworks

On the outskirts of some German town



Guten Abend meiner Damen und Herren Ha Ha Ha Ha

Willkommen in Konnigsburg Ha Ha Ha Ha

Wollen zie danzen mit mir oder drinken Bier Ha Ha Ha Ha

Thank you but......

This young lady and I

Will just finish this bottle of wine

It was kind of you...but

I think we'll just say goodnight

[Jade:] "Leave us alone!"

Goodnight

[Jade:] "Leave us alone!"

(Bell)

[Man:] "Could I have the key to one four three, please?

Thank you."



[Man:] "Hello, yes, I'd like to order breakfast please

I'd like coffee for two, and toast with marmalade

No...marmalade.

For the first time today

I held her naked body next to mine

In this hotel overlooking the Rhine

I made her mine

Ooh babe...ooh babe

Come with me and stay with me

Please stay with me

[Woman:] "Huh...what is it?"

Stay with me

Stay with me

Stay with me

Stay with me

[Woman:] "No..."

Stay with me

[Woman:] "Forget it."

Hey...girl

Take out the dagger

And let's have a stab at the sexual revolution

Hey girl

Let freedom for all be our rallying call

Tomorrow lets make our new resolution

Yeah, but tonight lie still

While I plunder your sweet grave

And remember

Only the poor can be saved

Hey girl

As I've always said I prefer your lips red

Not what the good Lord made

But what he intended

Hey girl

Don't point the finger at me

I am only a rat in a maze like you

Only the dead go free

So...please, hold my hand

As we blunder through the maze

And remember

Nothing can grow without rain

(Thunder)

Don't...

Don't point your finger at me

I awoke in a fever

The bedclothes were all soaked in sweat

She said, you've been having a nightmare

And it's not over yet

Then she picked up the doggy in the window

(The one with the waggly tail)

And she put him to bed between two bits of bread

I just cowered in the corner

My pyjama coat over my head

And she smiled as she finished her sandwich

And her cold eyes fixed me to my dark history

As she brushed the remains

Of our love from the bed

And when she had turned back the covers

When all of the prayers had been read

She said, come on over here you silly boy

Before you catch your death of cold

I was only joking

Let's leave behind the city grime

Let's not compete

It could be fine in the country

Couldn't it though...come on lets go

I said, OK



[Young Child:] "Are we going to go now?"

[Jade:] "Where would you like to go darling?"

[Wife:] "Mmm...Vermont...Wyoming."

[Jade:] "Wyoming...huh....Children!"

[Children:] "What?"

[Jade:] "We're going to Wyoming

Darling...Which way is Wyoming?"

[Wife:] "Hook a right here

You're going the wrong way."

[Jade:] "I know that

I know children...

Let's see how many...Volvos we pass

On the way to our new life in the country

...One

[Wife:] "Jade, don't do that, that's really negative."

As cars go by I cast my mind's eye

Over back packs on roof racks

Beyond the horizon

Where dream makers

Working white plastic processors

Invite the unwary

To reach for the pie in the sky

Go fishing my boy!



We set out in the spring

With a trunk full of books about everything

About solar devices

And how nice natural childbirth is

We cut down some trees

And we trailed our ideals

Through the forest glade

We dammed up the stream

And the kids cooled their heels

In the fishing pool we'd made



We held hands and we exchanged bands

And we practically lived off the land

You adopted a fox cub

Whose mother was somebody's coat

You fed him by hand

And then snuggled snuggled him down

By the grandfather bed while I wrote

And we grew our own maize

And I only occasionally went into town

To stock up on antibiotics

And shells for the shotgun that I kept around

I told the kids stories while you worked your loom

And the sun went down sooner each day



[Jade:] "Chapter six in which Eeyore has a birthday

And gets two presents."

[Child:] "Daddy...come on dad."

[Jade:] "Eeyore the old grey donkey stood by the side

Of the stream and he looked at himself in the water

'Pathetic' he said, 'That's what it is'

'Good morning Eeyore' said Pooh

'Oh' said Pooh, He thought for a long time



The leaves all fell down

Our crops all turned brown

It was over

As the first snowflakes fell

I realized all was not well in the camp

The kids caught bronchitis

The space heater ran out of diesel

One weekend a friend from the East

Rot his soul

Stole your heart

I said, fuck it then

Take the kids back to town

Maybe I'll see you around



I said, go then

She said, OK

And so...leaving all our hopes and dreams

To the wind and the rain

Taking only our stash

Left our litter and trash

And set out on the road again

On the road again

On the road again

[Child:] "Bye Bye Daddy, Bye Daddy

You can bring Pearl she's a darn nice girl

But don't bring Liza."

For the first time today

I feel it's really over

You were my everyday excuse

For playing deaf, dumb and blind

And who'd have ever thought

This was how it would end for you and me

To carry my own millstone

Out of the trees

And I have to admit

I don't like it a bit

Being left here beside this lonesome road

Lonesome road

Lonesome road

[Trucker:} "Hey kid, you looking for a lift?

Get on up here

How's it going good buddy?"

I nailed ducks to the wall

Kept my heart in dark ruins

I built bungalows over the hills

Dunroamin, duncarin, dunlivin

Took my girl to the country

To sleep out under the moon

Next thing she's going crazy

[Trucker:] "Women are like that kid

What the hell can you do?"

She waits for the real Mr. Right to come

Gently removing her heart

With his promises of real communication

[Trucker:] "I saw a program about that on TV, heh"

Who's always picking up the tab

Who built a bungalow for his momma and dad

Me.....

Who took you out to all the shows

Who worked his fingers to the bone

Me....

While you were asleep

[Jade:] "It was me...I did!"

I kept you in buttons and bows

[Jade:] "Christ! All those clothes!

So you could encourage this creep

[Hick:] "With that program

I bet some son of a bitch made a million dollars."

With his neat feet

And his clean fingernails

With his wise but twinkling eyes

He's a rock standing out in an ocean of doubt

[Trucker:] "Get movin', get off the road ya Goddam faggot."

And compromise

I'd like to go on with this bit of a song

Describing this schmuck

I'd like to go on, but I'm going to throw up

[Trucker:] "Not in my rig you don't boy

Get the hell out of here.

An angel on a Harley

Pulls across to greet a fellow rolling stone

Puts his bike up on it's stand

Leans back and then extends

A scarred and greasy hand...he said

He said, how ya doin bro?

Where ya been?

Where ya goin'?

Then he takes your hand

In some strange Californian handshake

And breaks the bone

[Whiny person:] "Have a nice day, hehe"



A housewife from Encino

Whose husband's on the golf course

With his book of rules

Breaks and makes a 'U' and idles back

To take a second look at you

You flex your rod

Fish takes the hook

Sweet vodka and tobacco in her breath

Another number in your little black book



These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

Oh babe, I must be dreaming



I'm standing on the leading edge

The Eastern seaboard spread before my eyes

Jump, says Yoko Ono

I'm too scared and too good looking, I cried

Go on, she says

Why don't you give it a try?

Why prolong the agony all men must die

Do you remember Dick Tracy?

Do you remember Shane?

[Child:] "And mother wants you."

Could you see him selling tickets

Where the buzzard circles over

[Child:] "Shane."

The body on the plain

Did you understand the music Yoko

Or was it all in vain?

[Child:] "Shane..."

The bitch said something mystical

(Herro)

So I stepped back on the kerb again



These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

Oh babe, I must be dreaming again

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

These are the pros and cons of hitchhiking

[Waitress:] "You wanna cup of coffee?"

[Customers:] "Heh, Turn that fucking juke box down

You want to turn down that juke box....loud in here"

[Waitress:] "I'm sorry, would you like a cup of coffee?

Ok, you take cream and sugar? Sure."

In truck stops and hamburger joints

In Cadillac limousines

In the company of has-beens

And bent-backs

And sleeping forms on pavement steps

In libraries and railway stations

In books and banks

In the pages of history

In suicidal cavalry attacks

I recognise...

Myself in every stranger's eyes



And in wheelchairs by monuments

Under tube trains and commuter accidents

In council care and county courts

At Easter fairs and sea-side resorts

In drawing rooms and city morgues

In award winning photographs

Of life rafts on the China seas

In transit camps, under arc lamps

On unloading ramps

In faces blurred by rubber stamps

I recognise...

Myself in every stranger's eyes



And now, from where I stand

Upon this hill

I plundered from the pool

I look around

I search the skies

I shade my eyes

So nearly blind

And I see signs of half remembered days

I hear bells that chime in strange familiar ways

I recognise...

The hope you kindle in your eyes



It's oh so easy now

As we lie here in the dark

Nothing interferes, it's obvious

How to beat the tears

That threaten to snuff out

The spark of our love

And the moment of clarity

Faded like charity does

Sometimes

I open one eye

And I put out my hand just to touch your soft hair

To make sure in the darkness that you were still there

And I have to admit

I was just a little afraid

Yeah

But then...

I had a little bit of luck

You were awake

I couldn't take another moment alone